The Paradox (and Pain) of Choice

I had just been thinking about choice, as it affects our living spaces and our life dreams, when I got an email from my sister with a link to an amazing essay that spells out the pain of choice. Do read it: Too Much Choice is Pure Hell.

It's true. Too much choice IS pure hell. And today, we are faced with more choices and options than ever before. We know about the choices, thanks to the media. Advertising is designed to make us want...everything! Choose...HD-DVD or Blu-Ray (well, that choice has been made for us now!), Starbucks or Tully's, and the list goes on.

Every step in life is a choice. But I know that I am happier when I have fewer choices. This is why I shop at Costco for most of our groceries. I can choose from Tillamook shredded cheddar or from Tillamook shredded cheddar. No angst over store band versus Kraft versus Tillamook versus Horizon. I have one choice if I want shredded cheddar, and, yes, it's a good one! All through the store, little to no choice. It's great! I can't even choose if I want four bananas or six, the only choice is a four pound bag!

Choice can paralyze you. Have you ever decided with your sweetie to go out for dinner and spend an hour trying to choose a restaurant? Indian or Italian? Mexican or McDonald's? Chain or independant? It's why the happiest people who dine out are the regulars. Their server knows them, they know the menu, it's like being at home but with someone else to do the dishes. I always envied the regulars that feeling...but I have this craving for new, for different that I strive to keep in check.

Choice. Think about it.

Temporarly Chaos

We just had my sister-in-law and her son visit for a couple of days. Oh, and their dog. Let me just say that the house is quiet for the first time in over 48 hours. There's dog hair on the living room carpet. The floors aren't too covered in crumbs, thanks to said dog (a quite civilized beast). I see dust and hair balls everywhere, and you can't move without knocking over a LEGO brick or stepping on a rubber boot! The kids had a blast playing together, and we had a good visit. SIL is easy going and pitches in--she actually vacuumed and helped pick up the day they arrived.



My precious little fur babies, though, were very happy to see the tail end of the dog! (finally able to relax)

A Little at a Time Really Makes Progress

So I've told you about my counter cleaning ritual, right? Well, once you've been doing that for a couple of weeks, you've gotten up the grime, and since you're doing it every day, nothing builds up and gets all crusty and icky. So it takes less time to do it. What do you do? You expand your area, and you find yourself spritzing and swiping more and more of the kitchen. I've moved on to bits of wall, stove hood, front of the cabinets. It's looking good.

So good, that I may actually do my kitchen update this year. I found out that you can have countertops refinished, which would be cheaper and faster than new ones. I'd paint the walls and cabinets, refinish the countertops and maybe sink, and refinish the floor. It would cost around $2000 (as compared with the last quote I got for a remodel--$20,000!).

Here's a picture of how my counters looked last night:
This was just as I was making dinner; that stack of Zip-Loc boxes contains leftovers that are ready to be heated up. The purple mug is waiting to be handwashed (and it was, later that evening). The fruit plate holds our current fruit for breakfasts and lunches.

Politics

A brief interlude to note that today was my state's caucus day. We also have a primary, but for my party, that won't make a difference. I'm an elected official, the very bottom-most tier elected official, and so I got to run my precinct's caucus. Good times, folks, truly good times. A great bunch of people turned out and we had a great time electing our delegates.

On the decluttering front, here's the load I dropped off at the Goodwill today. No, that doesn't break my Lenten intention, because I didn't go into the thrift store, I merely handed bags to the nice gentleman outside and got a receipt.

Oprah's Interventions

Oprah and organizing guru Peter Walsh worked together for two shows on hoarding. I didn't watch them when they first aired (I don't watch much TV), but last night, I watched the video available on Oprah's website.

These are painful to watch. I feel grateful that I got my wake-up call because it's clearly a case of 'there but for the grace...'. In one situation, the hoarder clearly is trying to fill the space left after her children left the home. What's really sad is how the husband simply let it happen. He lost his home to the clutter and hoarding disease.

I worry that the fix won't stick. Removing the stuff helps, providing that the hoarder is on the path to recovery and wants assistance, but it will just pile up again unless the underlying psychological issues are dealt with. I hope the show is providing counseling because without it, the house will just fill up again.
* * *
Today, inspired by the folks featured on those two shows, I dug out some junk. I have a coat rack in our basement hallway (we leave the house most often by the back door, since I park in the car port and my sweetie parks in the garage--yes, we can get a car into our garage!). Under the coat rack are these bins:

Until just now, they were full of all this stuff:

To make it easier, I dumped all three bins out into a laundry basket. Next, I grabbed another empty basket, a garbage can and a recycling can and went at it. Above, in the basket on the left, is what I have yet to sort. The bin on the right is the keeper stuff. The garbage is full of just plain trash that was in those poor bins. Old napkins and Kleenex, bits of this and that. It'll be at least another hour's worth of work to finish the sorting.

Lent

No, you haven't accidentally been switched to Confessions of a Catholic, but yesterday was Ash Wednesday, the first day of the Lenten Season. Lent is the 40 days preceding Easter (not counting Sundays). Lent is a time of reflection, and to participate in the custom of forming an intention for the season. Often, people choose to give something up for their intention, coffee, chocolate, alcohol, sugar. I prefer to think of the intention as either adding something to your life or not doing something with the goal of moving closer to God (as you conceive of God). Sometimes giving something up will do that, you'll perhaps move closer to the spirit of creation and life if you're not eating chocolate. Or, perhaps you'll add a daily walk or 10 minutes of meditation. Or maybe you'll choose to give to the local food bank every week, instead of once a year when the Postal Carrier leaves that handy bag.

Whether one is Christian or not, adopting a practice that brings one closer to...well, spirit of creation and life and energy for want of a better word can be a powerful time of personal growth.

Wondering what I chose to add or give up? Going to thrift stores and shopping at Target. I had pretty much already given up the thrift stores, I think the last time I went to one was over a month ago. But, still, the intention will solidify that aim. And Target? Well, it's just a pit of temptation. I go in for kitchen cleaner and come out will all sorts of wonderful things that, yes, will "enhance" our life, but that we don't actually "need". Since other stores that stock the items I usually buy at Target have higher prices, I'll be more able to stick to my list.

Super Tuesday or Fat Tuesday?

Today is Super Tuesday, the day 22 states hold presidential primaries. This year, today is also Fat Tuesday or Mardi Gras or Shrove Tuesday, the last day before the start of Lent. Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, day 1 of the Lenten Season.

Lent is a time of reflection. Usually, those who celebrate Lent will give something up for the 40 days. I prefer to think of it as either giving something up or adding something to your life that will enhance your spiritual life. That could be adding regular exercise, which can be a time for reflection. Or giving up a habit (smoking, biting your fingernails) that interferes with the full celebration of a healthy life.

I haven't yet decided what I will add or give up for Lent. I don't always figure it out before the season begins, but it's the spirit, the intention, not the exactness that really matters.

How To Clean A Bathroom in 15 Minutes

Thanks to the Flylady, my bathroom is cleaned regularly. I do it quickly, and some may say well, it's not perfect, you missed that bit of grout there! But do you know what I say? Ha! That's what I say. (I also add...well, sure I missed a few spots, I did it in 15 minutes. But can you really say that it looks 8 times better when it takes you two hours? No? I didn't think so!).

Here's how I do it. You need some tools. I use: Swiffer dry mop with a fresh cloth on it, Windex, two paper towels, one baby wipe, a HandiVac, and the toilet brush.

To prepare, I grab the old rug, bathmat and hand towel and put them in the laundry basket. Then I move the plunger, toilet brush in its stand, bath toy bin, and kid potty into the tub so they're out of the way. I give the toilet a quick scrub with the toilet brush. If it's extra icky, I'll spray some Windex in there and let it soak while I do the next step. I spray the mirrors and the bathroom sink top with Windex. I let it soak in for a moment, then wipe it off, doing the mirrors first and then the sink faucet, then finally the sink itself. We have a wall-mounted sink with old-fashioned chrome legs, so I run the towel over the legs too for extra shine.

I use that same paper towel to clean the tub faucets and spout, adding a little more Windex as necessary. Then, I swipe the rim of the tub, the top of the toilet tank and that spot behind the seat that accumulates dust, and the window sill. Toss that towel now, it's done!

Time to Swiffer. I swiffer the floor, and then use the HandiVac to vacuum up the dust. Empty the vac into the garbage. Time to use the baby wipe to scrub up any dirty spots on the floor or the base of the toilet. OK, done with that. Now, I put back the items that were in the tub, put out a fresh rug, clean bathmat and hand towel, and dump the garbage. Done, in fifteen minutes!

You'll notice I say little about the tub. Well, I don't like to use harsh chemicals in the tub since our cats often hop in there and lick up the water at the drain. So, while I'm in the shower, I'll take a minute and use the scrubbie I keep on the tub rim to give the tub a quick scrub.

A Year Ago Today...

I learned that my mother had died. She chose to take her life (or, she came close to choosing and got too close to turn back). We had a challenging relationship, neither of us meeting the other's expectations. But I know that the last words I spoke to her were "I love you". And that has to be enough.

I've spent the last year wrestling with the whys. Why did she make that choice? What could I or my sister have done differently? Is she at peace? These are questions with no really satisfying answers.

My younger daughter talks about her often. She'll come out with, often out of the blue, "your mom is dead." Or "Gramma Donna died." She remembers doing activities with her, traveling back East to visit relatives with her, games they played. Older daughter is more hesitant, doesn't like to talk about it. She'll try to stop us if we're talking about her. That worries me. I want her to remember. I have but one vague childhood memory of my maternal grandfather and only one adult memory of my maternal grandmother. My paternal grandparents died decades before I was born.

It's been a year of tears and sadness. I could cry every day. I don't, because life would go on hold if I did. But not a day goes by that I don't think about my mother.

Thinking About Excess

I recently read this book (no, it's not Thursday)...

It's a great book, but man did I feel like the loser parent when I was done. Because...there are so many times when I cave and become the permissive parent. It's the easier thing to do, in that moment, but I know it'll make life harder in the years to come. It's a constant battle to stay in the balanced parenting mode, and it is frankly exhausting. But I know it's what I (we) have to do.

So about excess. See, I think it's hard for kids to focus when they are surrounded by too many choices. I know it's hard for me, and I end up with tunnel vision, either reading a book or diving into the finite/infinite world of the Internet.

What does this mean for my household? I'm going to remove some of the little one's toys. It's so hard to do this, because she's creative with her toys and actually does play with a lot of them. But I think her creativity and imagination could allow her to repurpose the ones I leave her with, so she doesn't feel deprived. My gosh, deprived! These children are anything but.

How do you cope with excess in your life?

Thinking about Travel?

I found this lovely informative site via The Consumerist. Upgrade: Travel Better follows the ups and downs in travel, primarily by air, with asides on such varied topics as the short film Helvetica (yes, about the font), how the Wynn Las Vegas makes sure no one steals from the mini-bar and the strange definition United gives to the word 'forever'.

Book Review Thursday

I confess, I read a lot. I can't help it. It's like an addiction. I don't buy many anymore, thanks to a great local library with an online catalog. I've learned, finally, that I can enjoy a book without having to own it. Saves a lot of space and money, let me tell you.

My latest read is a slim subtle volume by Stewart O'Nan. It's a book I spotted on the New Fiction shelves at my local bookstore-cafe, and I noted the title and later placed it on hold at the library. It came in yesterday and I finished it that day.

"Last Night at the Lobster" tells the story of Manny, the manager of a Red Lobster restaurant in Connecticut. Corporate has decided his restaurant isn't pulling its weight and will be closed. By the last day of operation, Manny is down to just a few employees, a handful of which he's being allowed to bring with him to his new job at an Olive Garden in the next town over.

Anyone who has ever worked food service will appreciate this story. We meet the chef, who cares more than anyone would expect of a chain restaurant chef. The waitresses are a mix of stereotypes; the "lifer" whose nametag is so old it's been out of production for years, the highly emotional new one, who complains if she has too many tables or too few. Manny himself is torn between a relationship with his current girlfriend, and a waitress at the Lobster, with whom he'd had a not-so-secret secret affair.

This is the first book I've read by Stewart O'Nan. I've put some of his others on hold at the library. For baseball fans, I notice that he has co-written with Stephen King a book on the Boston Red Sox.

Slow and Steady Gets Results or The Flylady is Always Right

I'm sure most of you out there in InternetLand are familiar with the Flylady. If not, here's a quick overview. The Flylay, real name Marla Cilley, is a taking-care-of-your-home evangelist. Her focus is on loving yourself, taking things bit by bit, and not beating yourself up over perceived failures. She's really more of a coach than anything else. Her website is www.flylady.net; check out the Baby Steps and Routines as well as the Ask Flylady column.

I've griped silently about the grease spots that won't come off on my range for a while. I tried scrubbing every once in a while and not much came off. I tried ignoring it, but the look of neglect always nagged at me. So, the past couple of weeks, I've tried a new approach. I spritz the areas with my nice-smelling Cucumber cleaner. I give them a swipe, but just a swipe, not a scrub not a lot of time. And I do it at least once a day. Here's the thing: thanks to these two weeks or so of once a day swiping, those stubborn spots are gone or going.

One of the Flylady's main points is that we should aim to do a little each day, rather than a big amount once a week. Think about it. For those of us who have trouble keeping up with the house (or anything for that matter, you could apply her techniques to writing your book, doing your taxes, running your business), we can become addicted to the rush, the high of seeing extreme results. I mean, if you neglect your bathroom for a month and then clean it, wow, it's going to look great! If you clean it once a week though, it'll *always* look great. But you won't get that high that comes from seeing or being the creator of an extreme transformation. Why do you think makeover shows, for body or home, are so popular? There's a rush to seeing that huge change happen so quickly.

I've started doing the same thing I do with the range with the bathtub. It's grimy and gross. We have a refinished tub and it's quite hard to clean. I've tried many cleaners, scrubbing and scrubbing and no luck. So (finally), I took the Flylady's advice and put a small surface-friendly scrubbie in the tub. Each time I shower, I put a little shampoo on it and scrub the tub surface for about a minute. That's all. I anticipate a shiny, no grime tub within a week or two. And that will be good enough.

Clean Spaces

Lately, I've been really focused on keeping a kitchen counter clear and the top of the stove clear. Each time I glance over and see those open, clean spaces, well, I feel uplifted. Free. I want more.

The back of my range used to be really icky with grease spots. I'd try to clean it, but it never seemed to come clean. Lately though, each time I clean the stove surface, I'll spray some cleaner (Method Cucumber, yum) on those knobs and the odd bits at the back. I'd give it a few swipes, but not push it, not let myself get frustrated. Well, what do you know, after doing that for a few weeks, that area is almost shiny. I can see reflections in the chrome bits of the knobs. It's such a reward for being patient.

Lists

Making a list of your day's accomplishments can really revitalize a bad day. Not that the day I had today was bad, rather, it was one of those days that leaves me feeling that I didn't really *do* anything.

So, for the record, today I:
*ran two loads of laundry
*did one load of dishes
*prepared a Crock Pot meal
*cleaned the kitchen counters
*wrote a draft of an article
*updated stock at the website I manage (see sidebar)
*took recycling and garbage out to their bins
*swept the kitchen floor

There are other things I wanted to accomplish today, but I didn't get to them. I want to make more lists in advance, as that seems to help me more with my time-management.

Making Lists

I've gotten out of the habit of making lists, and the result is that at the end of they day, trying to fall asleep, my mind scrolls through all the tasks that I have yet to do. I've decided to start making lists again.

What's on my list today? Certainly not everything that I'll actually accomplish. Bank, library, drop off one child at preschool, pick up another at school, drop off a donation at the school, do some writing. What I didn't write down but actually did includes laundry, tidying the kitchen, preparing a snack. Feels like cheating to write those things down, but they are tasks that I completed.

Recently, I read a book that consisted of lists concocted by contributors. Some were decades old, and had been rediscovered. Others were composed just for the book.

Merry Christmas!

A low-clutter Christmas is my wish for you!

A Clever Site

I just found this site and it's so stinkin' clever I had to share it.
http://anerroroccurredwhileprocessingthisdirective.com/

Keeping the Holiday Craziness at Bay

So, on Sunday I took the kids to visit Santa Claus. We went to our nearby mall, rather than to downtown since I really didn't feel like dealing with downtown traffic. Still it took quite a while to find a spot to park at the mall. I did have a lovely karmic moment though, when, by stopping so a pedestian could cross, I was just in time to get a perfectly placed parking spot.

This mall's Santa area has a policy of only allowing you to take your own pictures IF you buy at least the smallest package from them. I had actually forgotten my camera and wasn't about to pay $20 for likely mediocre pictures, so we just visited with Santa. The girls got to tell him what they wanted, sit on his lap, and received candy canes as they said good-bye. It was all really sweet. We did have to wait quite about twenty minutes in line, but it went fast. I called my sister while we were waiting and the girls both got to chat with her.

We didn't spend ANY money at the mall. It was a nice feeling, actually, to just be there as observers, enjoying the holiday decorations and the smells of cider and hot cocoa and candy canes.

Keeping it Simple for the Holidays

This year, we won't be putting lights up on the house. Too much ladder work, and my husband doesn't want to do it. Since I don't want to go up on a ladder either, well, that's that. In a year when we're more flush in the pocket, I'd love to hire one of those companies that come and put up your lights. If they installed permanent hooks, even better.

We compromise though by decorating the fence that surrounds our front yard with lights. For Halloween, I put up purple and orange lights. The other day, I dug out our Christmas stash. Found out that the icicle lights had bit the dust so to speak. I have about 24 feet of them that work, and since I really don't want to buy more lights, I'll fill in with some of the coloured ones that we have for the tree. There are always a few extra strands left after we decorate the tree so we should be fine.


I had a lovely pewter Advent candle holder last year, but it wasn't well designed and spilled wax onto the white-painted mantle. This year, I'm using four small glass tealight holders in a row. They hold three purple and one pink tealight. It's close enough. The photograph is of my mom with older daughter (at age 3), shopping downtown at Christmas time. The dry-looking things are palms from Palm Sunday.