Monday, March 16, 2009

Memories and Possessions

I was going to post about how we as a family tackled the ginormous mess that is our kids' room. But then, something happened. A pink piggy bank that my mom had given to older DD years ago broke. I moved too quickly near it, with something, can't even remember what, in my hand, and with a crash, it was shattered. And I started crying.

I cried on and off the rest of the day. For my mom who isn't here anymore and won't give any more gifts to my daughters. For me, who misses her and for our challenging relationship.

It's a curse to have a good memory. I know people whose minds just let things go, who wouldn't have remembered where that piggy bank came from. But I remember and it's why I have such trouble letting go of the physical.


Chief Family Officer said...

I know it's small comfort, but I would have had the same reaction. Which is ironic, because I don't know about your mother, but my mother would tell me that it's just a thing and to get it over it. I'm sorry you miss your mom so.

Anonymous said...

I truly understand your sadness and am so sorry. If you have any of the broken pieces left, you could actually insert those into a mosaic tile and still have your treasure with you !

Somena Woman said...

Hi there,

I think that it was great that you let yourself cry like that and grieve the loss. I tried to post something longer on this - but blogger has a limit... but I just was reading a few posts later that you were wondering aloud why it was that you were feeling less attachment to stuff recently. I think that this post answers the question you posed to yourself a few posts later.

When we really let ourselves think through - remember, and feel about each item we have cluttering up our lives... when we really let ourselves feel what we feel about these items... it's like it breaks the spell. I think we form attachemnents to things as a replacement for the love we so badly needed when we were children - love that can not be replaced. We need to grieve (as hard as that is at times) We need to let ourselves get angry - if that's how we feel - and then when we have let that emotion fully conclude -- we can really let go of the clutter in question.