Thursday, March 01, 2007

So Much Stuff

My mother was a compulsive shopper. She preferred clothes, but also enjoyed buying linens-towels, sheets, etc. I was not able to go into her apartment after she died, I just couldn't. I knew that for me, it would be purely painful and that I would collapse on the floor crying. Just writing about it is bringing tears to my eyes. My sister, however, wanted to go in and in fact, found it comforting and healing. For that, I am grateful. So, we divided up the tasks--I get to do the paperwork, she cleared out the apartment.

Everything is in storage.

I was able to visit the storage unit and look at things, but still began to cry. So much stuff, so many clothes, many with tags still on. I guess she was trying to fill some need--for nice things, to look good (self esteem?), to nurture herself. I don't know. We'll have to make decisions sometime, I don't want to continue to store everything indefinately. I'm sure some things can go to a consignment shop or eBay, others to the Goodwill or to Dress for Success. She liked silk and cashmere, soft things.

How I deal with this will be a journey. Will I be able to let things go?

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